The Roles We Play

A psychodramatic look at Gestalt

One of my favorites quotes is from Shakespeare:

“All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.”

I am on hiatus from a professional acting career that I left in 2020. I have taken my love for performance and channeled it into Gestalt. The transition from acting into Gestalt coaching was seamless, given the psychodramatic nature of the Gestalt modality, in the same way that the transition from life into acting was seamless given the psychodramatic nature of life.

Growing up, no one could quite determine which character I was here to play. Neither could I. I drifted between all of the social crowds and never totally fit in with the jock culture, despite being good at sports. When I wandered into the theatre my sophomore year of college and they told me I could play any character I wanted, I never looked back.

In Gestalt, we look for the whole of a person. The whole has many characters, many of whom may be suppressed. Our superficial minds love to pigeonhole and label ourselves so that we fit in to the construct of our egoic identities. When we know who we are, we feel safe. We put on our best costume to protect ourselves from the judgment of others, who also want you to fit into their own projections of who you are. These projections happen so that we can properly manage others. If I know who you are, I know the script of how to interact with you. God forbid we be caught off guard by another’s dynamic nature and have to adapt!

The Ego’s Revolt

I observe many people revolting against these ego identities. They find whatever means necessary to stretch into the sides of themselves that society has ignored, or run from the label applied to them. The trouble is, we are clunky with this practice. We are impatient with our self-seeking and simply jump right into a different label that is unclear and just as dysfunctional. These new identities can show up as we argue for hours on social media about who we are and what side we’re on, in a steady practice of filling the void.

This sort of process lacks integration and patience. Growth into the whole of who you are does not happen overnight. In fact, it will last your lifetime, and be present in every moment. Gestalt is a phenomenological practice, meaning we are always in process of what’s happening in our moment.

But seriously, who are you really? How often do you inquire into that deep question. Let me take a shot at it.

You are a child of God. You are the integration of many different characters. You are emotions, experiences, and genes made physical by the miraculous creation of life.

Most importantly, let’s be honest, you don’t really know who you are. Take a minute to humble in that. We are all merely actors performing on this grand stage called earth. In a world that romanticizes truth and authenticity, I’d love for more us to recognize the complexity that makes up our nature, and be humble enough to just play through these parts, as best we can, with a sense of wonder.

The Emotion Fits the Scene

When you watch a great theatrical scene, the emotion always pays off the action. The actor’s vocal tone and physical movements tune you into the reality of what is going on. If he or she can hit that tone, the audience will feel the truth the scene is grounded in.

In your Gestalt (your whole), I encourage you to notice your emotions, and inquire into if they fit the scene. Sometimes it won’t. That’s ok. In fact, it’s great, you have found a place to inquire. Through that discord you can find the trauma, the clarity, or the understanding of a part of you. In a Gestalt session, I will often call out when someone’s voice or posture doesn’t match their words. I will bring it to their attention and ask for inquiry if they agree that there is discord.

Like in last month’s post, God in Gestalt, I’ll ask that you inquire into your truth at the level of feeling, because it’s the only place you can truly know. As a Gestalt facilitator, you will rarely hear me encouraging you to look for the truth in the cerebral facts. Those “truths" are just fine, but capital-T truths are deeper than that.

Truth is the feeling in your gut, the surge of energy from an idea, the heartbreak of a break-up, and the joy from doing what you love as you play characters that are interesting. Truth happens when our emotions fit the scene, and interesting characters are born when you allow these emotions to come forth uninhibited.  So, as you play your roles on this stage called Earth, feel through the emotions that make up your characters, that therefore make up the whole of who you are.

These emotions all come from the body, and the characters are the body. So go back to it.