My mom took her coaching program in the early 2000s. She had just sold her small business and was in the midst of a career transition. This program was not a one-off, couple hundred-dollar certification program held by your fellow American guru. This was a two-year, 15,000 dollar, full-on intensive. Her classmates flew in to San Diego from all over the country to partake in one grueling weekend every month for a year of intensive learning, before a second year of mentor coaching. Before she could coach, she had to be coached. To me, this seems like a pretty standard rite of passage in an industry that aspires to take care of people’s entire livelihood.
Being coached was no walk in the park. She had plenty of trauma to sift through after growing up in a lower class, fire-and-brimstone Christian household with parents in their early twenties. I heard many tears from her bedroom. She almost quit a couple times, but she finished and came out a better woman and a great coach.
At that time, the coaching industry was taking baby steps toward becoming the alluring industry it is today, enticing millennials into leaving their corporate jobs to try their hand at supporting others with their deepest fears and guiding them to some promised land.
When I started meeting these types of young people, I would ask, “Oh you’re a coach? What program did you take? What’s your foundation? Who’s your coach and how long have you been being coached?” Unfortunately, many new coaches had a hard time answering my questions. Their credentials, training, and experience were adequate at best.
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of coaches out there who are great at what they do. They are experienced, well-trained, and have paid their dues. The paragraph above is a glimpse at the shadow side of the coaching industry.
The bright side of the coaching space is it offers a route for those who are truly meant to support others (and there are plenty of people who need support right now), but who incidentally didn’t study psychology or chose to deviate from a traditional clinical therapy space that feels outdated or ineffective. Many great coaches are naturally gifted in reflecting others’ emotional baggage, and are naturally empathetic souls.
Still, that perceived lack of professionalism kept me from the coaching space for a while, even though plenty of people suggested I had a knack for it. When “naturals" find their coaching path and become humble, accountable, and committed to it, the results are transformational for client and coach alike. After watching my mom go through it, connecting with coaches, being coached for more than a decade, and now having been a coach for three years, here’s what I think makes a great coach:
Being grounded in a philosophy, training, or system. This coach has paid for and been properly immersed and schooled in their modality.
Has at least a year’s worth of training and constantly seeks more opportunities for learning and professional development.
Has been coached for at least a year, and continues to be coached while coaching others.
Their prices match their training, experience, and ability.
They have at least 2 years of professional experience.
They share their mission beyond one-on-one sessions into group work, charitable organizations, and/or corporate settings.
They “walk the talk” by using their own work on themselves and are willing to grow themselves.
They know when they’re wrong and can admit to it. This coach humbly puts themselves second to the wisdom of their client.
A great coach meets their client where they are, and takes them up the ladder. They don’t demand results or action before their client is ready. They offer a balance between compassion and accountability.
Coaching as Ministry
My current coach and mentor works under a system that he calls Coaching as Ministry (CAM). The tagline is “Coaching for all who are willing. Sharing our gifts in ways that allow every one of us to become who we are made to be.” He works with a Christian context and decades of experience and training. Like any minister or priest, when someone comes to him in need of support, he supports them from a divine call to do so. The money comes second. He asks that they pay whatever they are willing and able.
I see this kind of model popping up all over the place. One of my favorite philosophers, Charles Eisenstein, implements a gifting model for his speaking engagements, workshops, and writing. People pay what they would like after experiencing his work. Sliding scale payment models are being implemented across multiple industries.
Conscious Capitalism
“Conscious capitalism” might be the best phrase to describe these new models. Conscious capitalism is not without its challenges and will take some time to catch on. For instance, people using these systems might make less money. In addition, it’s confusing for clients and recipients to choose what to pay after being told their whole lives what things cost. They can’t find their agency as they have never been asked to use it in this context. With the power of choice finally in their hands, they are thrown for a loop. They don’t know what they are truly willing and able to give. They might choose to give as little as their conscience will allow.
What I admire about these efforts is the intention, the humility, and understanding. Instead of parading around as all-knowing, charging ridiculous prices without the experience or effectiveness to justify them, these folks are in full service to the mission before them. They offer more responsibility and power to the consumer.
I fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum. I offer a sliding scale and will coach people at an even cheaper rate than my low end of the scale if they ask, and if I feel called to do so. When I started coaching at an addiction facility, the rate was $20 an hour. As my experience and training have expanded, I have worked my way up from there.
I am very comfortable with my Gestalt foundation and feel that it fits me well, and I continue to learn and take trainings. Most importantly, I make sure I am being coached while I am coaching others. In order to keep Walking my Talk, I have to make sure I am coming back to my body, so I can better support others in coming back to theirs.