Actually Coming Back to the Body

A "walking the talk" manifesto

A quality I admire in others is integrity. Integrity is a key way to tune in with our personal agency – what matters to us, what we would fight for. One way you can tell if someone is connected to their integrity is if they “walk the talk.” In my early and mid-twenties, I was a young and eager actor, and it was brought to my awareness on multiple occasions that I was not walking my talk. I would throw out ideas for creative projects that I would say I was going to create, and then would never get around to finishing. I discovered I was “all talk,” and it was an embarrassing wake-up call. 

In many ways, I think we all fall into the habit of talking without following through on our word. In fact, becoming aware of what we preach and if we practice it can be a great point of inquiry, especially if there is an emotional charge to our preaching. When I get heated in conversation, it’s a great moment to pause and wonder why, and what that anger, passion, rage, excitement, or even hatred is trying to show me.

In Gestalt, we honor the integration of the parts of ourselves into the whole. I have a part of me that is artsy, spiritual, poetic, and esoteric. You can find that side of me doing spoken word poetry, involved in deep conversation, or wandering barefoot in the forest. Another side prefers to get down to brass tacks. 

So here we are. After last month’s meta and theoretical blog about Breathing in the Void, I’ll share how I’m actually coming Back to the Body. 

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?” 1 Corinthians 6:19

I was an athlete. From the time I was five years old, I played at least two sports if not three. In college, I played basketball. That entire time, I understood my body to be a machine used for the purpose of battling and winning. I had very little awareness of rest, balance, flow, and relaxation. Instead, it was strength, power, pushing, and playing through pain. Pain was rarely a signal to stop. It was even considered a good sign. It meant that I was tough and could endure the sacrifice it takes to win for the team. In a yin/yang dichotomy, my activity was all yang (masculine) with very little yin (feminine). I paid the price for this imbalance. Despite decades of hard work and training, parts of my body have become strained, even weak.

My healthcare practitioners – mostly alternative healers in a holistic chiropractic realm – are shocked by the degradation of the entire right side of my body. As a right-handed and right-footed athlete, this side took most of the strain in my athletic career. Eastern medicine regards the right as the masculine side of the body, and these healers discover that parts of my right side are completely offline. When I tune in to how this makes me feel, I am once again embarrassed, and, interestingly, emasculated.

It feels like “Win Culture” used me up for its entertainment and spit me out to clean up the mess myself. The emotions and movement that had me feeling glorified as a young man in collegiate athletics have me feeling the consequences of that lifestyle years later. I am now tucked away in the gentle mountains of North Carolina, away from the limelight, seeking my way back to wholeness. 

The common root of movement and emotion 

The ancient Greeks understood the sacredness of the body. They held functional movement as a pillar to their entire civilization. Being in the classroom was rarely a sedentary experience, as activities like gymnastics and music were highly prioritized and posture was consistently evaluated. These masters of motion saw movement as essential to finding synergy between the trinity of Mind, Body, and Spirit.

I believe that the healthy integration of the trinity is my birthright. I am working toward it through intentional movement, and by consciously integrating the emotions in my body. I think it’s interesting that “movement” and “emotion” stem from the same Latin root of “emovere” which means “move.” I am on a committed journey of moving toward a healthy and whole body. This time, I am walking my talk. Here are the habits and disciplines I’ve taken up in service of coming back to my body.

The tried-and-true

There are a few that I have been practicing for years now.

I meditate for at least ten minutes, at least five days a week. I accompany that morning practice with prayer, journaling, and some quick body therapeutics like posture curve, rebounding, foam rolling, hanging from the inversion table, and using a massage gun. Working with a coach or therapist at least twice a month has been a standard. Regular massage and chiropractic visits also play a regular role.

The shiny and new  

As part of the rehab from decades of overuse and an over-stimulated adrenal system, I’ve given up all adrenaline-provoking activities. Sports, running, and lifting weights are currently on hold. Asheville offers plenty of low-impact alternatives. I do bikram yoga every week and integrate conscious breathwork on and off my mat. I spend as much time barefoot as I can to establish connection with the earth and correct the integrity of my body structure. This includes getting out on barefoot hikes through the forests and rivers of Western North Carolina.

Once a week, I take a long Epsom salt bath. This is turning into one of my favorite traditions. In the shower, I turn it to ice cold for the last minute to boost my immune system. Since the body also includes the mind, I’ve watched zero movies, trading them and TV for reading and live music. I especially avoid the news. In the same vein, I am on my eighth month of abstaining from all drugs and alcohol, and on my fourth month of being off all social media.

Diet has been a focal point lately. My fiancé and I just finished a 30 day low-carb protocol after which I gave up bread, potatoes, and dramatically cut back on sugar. I finished the cleanse with a 48-hour fast, which I try to do once a year to accompany my regular intermittent fasts. We place a heavy emphasis on buying organic and local, and are excited to receive a freezer full of grass-fed beef from a local farm this summer.

The Gestalt Integration

All of these practices are colored through the lens of Gestalt awareness principles. I am constantly seeking to be aware of the presence of my body and how it feels while I move through these rituals. I track sensation, emotion, thoughts and insights, pain, and pleasure. As a result, I can honestly say I’ve felt more whole, fulfilled, happy and healthy than I ever have in my life. Life is still challenging at times, as it should be. But I also am taking stock lately, and owning the authentic goodness I have found myself immersed in, and in large part due to these new body habits.

Maybe I am becoming radical, but it’s better than not walking my talk. Resistance still comes up for me about the time, energy, and money to do these things, yet I remind myself that nothing is more important than feeling good. Health and happiness are what we’re all after, right? Our body is the home of health and happiness, and it’s important to take care of our home. I encourage you to find ways to come back to your temple, your body. Ask it what it needs and offer gentle changes, one at a time.

What’s one habit you can implement in the next 30 days to help your journey back to the body? Feel free to comment below. Your body, your path, your story, it’s all your own. Only you can seek what to do next by following the God-given internal compass that your body is trying to call you back to. Give your body a listen, and then actually go back to it.

I am a certified Gestalt facilitator. I invite you to try this therapeutic practice.